BiG TummY (elephanty) wrote,
BiG TummY

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my pursuit of happiness

A pastor said "you cannot expect people to give you happiness. you have to achieve that yourself. if you are not happy, no one can make you happy."

These lines have been going through my head repeatedly the past week.

what is happiness? according to Wikipedia (and i have no idea where they got that definition from), happiness is "a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."

Intense joy, i guess, is self-created because only you know what brings you "intense joy". what others enjoy may not be what you do, so that i agree you have to achieve yourself.

Contentment is circumstantial, isn't it? you can't possibly be happy if things are going against you. or is it really possible to achieve that state of mind where nothing or no one bothers you even when everything goes wrong?

I thrived on discontentment when growing up. It gave me a perverse sense of motivation to better my circumstances. whining was also a good way to vent frustrations. but over the years, I've come to realise that things that I used to hold important were not necessarily so, and things that I thought were less important suddenly became very important to me. in recent years, i've learnt to let go of many things and had thought that I was finally contented with the lot i was given.

so why am i discontented again? is it because things that i hold dear are no longer what they used to be? circumstantial, isnt it? or is it that as one ages, priorities and expectations change, therefore what used to be sufficient could no longer be so?

or if one is truly a happy person, all these changes would not faze him and that he would still be contented with his lot? sonehow when thinking about this point, the biblical concept of denying oneself came to mind. Must one really deny oneself and put others first in order to be truly happy? because when i look at myself, there are just so many things that I'm not happy about. so happiness is to be selfless and to accept the trials and tribulations and persecutions and all that along with it?

this is too bizarre even for me.
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